Part Four...A Wild Adventure
Whilst on expedition the colonel single-handedly rescued some famous explorers from certain death. Deep in the jungle, blunderbuss in hand, our intrepid colonel heard the distant screams of what could only be other explorers. As he arrived at the scene he could see the fiercest lion he had ever encountered circling the party’s encampment. Without a moments thought for his own safety he walked slowly towards the dangerous animal. Whispering a firm but quiet word of command the lion lay down and began licking the colonel as if accepting him as his master. Later he revealed that a very good friend had taught him the sound a mother lion makes when scalding a cub. Although never actually tested this is believed to sound remarkably similar to “sit!” but when correctly enunciated the lion instantly recognised the sound and promptly obeyed as all good young do. N.B. The author accepts no liability for anyone out there who attempts this and gets eaten.
With the ordeal over and the lion happy that the camp was no longer his territory the explorers agreed to assist the colonel in his quest to discover a rare breed of animal. It was later revealed that this group were in fact reporters researching animals in their natural habitats, as they believed their readers would be interested. Naturally with such similar motives and the story of their dramatic rescue ensuring the colonel more of his much loved publicity the team got along splendidly. They were soon to discover the perfect animal for the new show.
Few today would have heard of an animal called a Quagga but this creature, a close relative of the modern zebra, was to be the Colonel’s latest attraction. Whilst the zebra itself would be an attraction, local tribes people reliably informed the Colonel that the two animals he intended to bring back were in fact the final pair in existence tipping the balance still further in his favour. He planned to breed them to ensure the continuation of this intriguing animal but sadly this was not to be. Having made the treacherous journey back home safely the new animals arrived at the circus with great flare. Such was the press turn out, courtesy of his friends from the jungle, much of the world knew of the new arrivals. To honour the occasion, as he did so many other occasions, Arbuthnot once more fired his cannon. Both animals took fright one heading North as fast as its hooves would carry it, the other South. Some year’s later officials declared the species extinct although the involvement of the cannon was never documented.
Being the tolerant individual that he was the Colonel remained calm. Never panicking in a crisis was one of his strongest mottos. In the style of a true showman of the era he simply found a way to solve the problem of the missing animals. As few in the United Kingdom had encountered the rare breed, a costume was soon fashioned and a couple of labourers received a pay rise to dress as the mystical Quagga and prance around the ring. Whilst we have never been certain if this was the first example of a pantomime horse, there do not appear to have been any earlier examples. The creature was never photographed however in case the secret of the cover up was revealed.
By this point Archibald had grown considerably, was talking regularly and running around the place like an athlete. Even from this early age it was becoming clear that the young offspring took very much after his father. He was seen on one occasion to be collecting ants in a glass. These he released to walk across a string between two straws. Naturally the ants saw no difficulty in this although were almost impossible to catch again at the other end. Whilst the idea appears never to have been developed by anyone else it is believed that one of the workers on the show saw Archibald playing and decided it would be possible to train flees to perform similar feats. As such the invention of the flea circus could be traced back to this small boy. Fortunately Archibald’s idea of using a magnifying glass in the sun as a spotlight was not taken any further due to the high performer casualty rate.
Part Five... Three New Arrivals
In part five we learn how the arrival of Arbuthnot’s son created such a stir in the media that once more our famous duo was propelled into the public eye
If by now you haven’t realised actual events probably never happened it could be considered very worrying and even the simplest disclaimer would be pointless.
With the ordeal over and the lion happy that the camp was no longer his territory the explorers agreed to assist the colonel in his quest to discover a rare breed of animal. It was later revealed that this group were in fact reporters researching animals in their natural habitats, as they believed their readers would be interested. Naturally with such similar motives and the story of their dramatic rescue ensuring the colonel more of his much loved publicity the team got along splendidly. They were soon to discover the perfect animal for the new show.
Few today would have heard of an animal called a Quagga but this creature, a close relative of the modern zebra, was to be the Colonel’s latest attraction. Whilst the zebra itself would be an attraction, local tribes people reliably informed the Colonel that the two animals he intended to bring back were in fact the final pair in existence tipping the balance still further in his favour. He planned to breed them to ensure the continuation of this intriguing animal but sadly this was not to be. Having made the treacherous journey back home safely the new animals arrived at the circus with great flare. Such was the press turn out, courtesy of his friends from the jungle, much of the world knew of the new arrivals. To honour the occasion, as he did so many other occasions, Arbuthnot once more fired his cannon. Both animals took fright one heading North as fast as its hooves would carry it, the other South. Some year’s later officials declared the species extinct although the involvement of the cannon was never documented.
Being the tolerant individual that he was the Colonel remained calm. Never panicking in a crisis was one of his strongest mottos. In the style of a true showman of the era he simply found a way to solve the problem of the missing animals. As few in the United Kingdom had encountered the rare breed, a costume was soon fashioned and a couple of labourers received a pay rise to dress as the mystical Quagga and prance around the ring. Whilst we have never been certain if this was the first example of a pantomime horse, there do not appear to have been any earlier examples. The creature was never photographed however in case the secret of the cover up was revealed.
By this point Archibald had grown considerably, was talking regularly and running around the place like an athlete. Even from this early age it was becoming clear that the young offspring took very much after his father. He was seen on one occasion to be collecting ants in a glass. These he released to walk across a string between two straws. Naturally the ants saw no difficulty in this although were almost impossible to catch again at the other end. Whilst the idea appears never to have been developed by anyone else it is believed that one of the workers on the show saw Archibald playing and decided it would be possible to train flees to perform similar feats. As such the invention of the flea circus could be traced back to this small boy. Fortunately Archibald’s idea of using a magnifying glass in the sun as a spotlight was not taken any further due to the high performer casualty rate.
Part Five... Three New Arrivals
In part five we learn how the arrival of Arbuthnot’s son created such a stir in the media that once more our famous duo was propelled into the public eye
If by now you haven’t realised actual events probably never happened it could be considered very worrying and even the simplest disclaimer would be pointless.
