PartTwo...The Rise To Fame
P T Barnum, in his later years paid tribute to the generosity of the Colonel when recognising him as a promising young man he gave him two shillings and a copy of his book, How to start a successful circus with only two shillings. However, historians and musical writers often overlook this fact and the interesting background to the gift. The Colonel hated the shilling coins (causing him to readily give them away) as a result of a freak accident. Arbuthnot had accidentally shot the Colonel with a shilling, which had been carelessly left in the apparently empty cannon. While a layer of cavalry twill, combined with the highest quality British underpants had absorbed the impact the high temperature, occasioned during firing, heated the coin sufficiently to burn a recognisable image of the Queen Victoria permanently on his left buttock. Of course it is now clear that, were it not for this book and coins, many of the famous names in circus would never have been established.
Colonal Aloysius J Tandy along with his wife Clarrisa were greatly pleased with the arrival of Archibald J Tandy their first son. The toddler received great affection from Arbuthnot when his first word was “boom” although this was often disputed by his parents. Unfortunately Arbuthnot was not the only admirer of the new arrival, Simbar the dominant male of the shows collection of lions was also fond of the little baby. Archibald once crawled into the lion’s cage and was found fast asleep wrapped in his mane. Whilst he was not in danger, anyone trying to remove the youngster certainly was. The child was promptly rejected when Archibald tried to eat Simbar’s tail. Clearly this caused discomfort and the lion was quick to return the baby before anything else he valued was put at risk.
With a now tea total Captain Arbuthnot in control of the famous cannon, structural damage to landmarks started to decrease with only one lapse to report. The captain’s rather painful landing on the face of the Sphinx created quite a stir in the national press of the era. Intended as a publicity stunt to show the impervious nature of his invention, the Arbuthot Robust Shielding Equipment (A.R.S.E.). This consisted of a collection of carefully crafted steel plates for the protection of infantrymen in battlefield situations. He aimed himself at the Sphinx to show he could survive the impact. Whilst he quickly recuperated from the experience, as so often before, attempts to replace the Sphinx’s nose were less effective. With the arrival of Archibald came the inspiration for yet another method of propulsion for the cannon. Powdered Milk, which proved to be the most successful yet and this lead to a romantic distraction for Arbuthnot himself.
Miss Harriet Woodhouse was sunning herself on her balcony when Arbuthnot came calling. Always unconventional in approach he whistled straight past attempting to recite a love poem to her but instead landing under her four-poster bed. The powdered milk had proved to be very powerful, a fact that Arbuthnot was grateful for over many years. Harriet took an instant liking to the dazed gentleman and invited him to stay for scones. Her father was considerably less enthused by the situation and insisted that serving scones was totally inappropriate for a first date, but he was later convinced to turn a blind eye.
The romance flourished leading to yet another society wedding, although this time local authorities banned the use of the cannon through fears of the associated random destruction traditional at such events. With the flair and distinction of a true showman The Great Tandadino stepped in and arranged a guard of honour with his elephants, who were a sight to behold with their trunks linked in front of the church. The quick thinking of Clarissa averted a near disaster when Harriet’s pet mouse escaped. Had she not skilfully fashioned a mousetrap from a custard tin and her cheese sandwich the whole thing could once again have got well and truly out of hand.
As the show continued to tour the empire the reputation of the three leading figures continued to grow. On the basis that all publicity is good publicity they must have been the most featured trio of the era. This sparked many items of memorabilia much of which is now lost or condemned as totally unsafe. However, one item that is very sought after by collectors today is the novelty spade used to dig craters in private dwellings. These were sold along with an accompanying sign stating, “Arbuthnot landed here” and were a popular talking point at garden parties given by the town gentry. Whilst it was unlikely Arbuthnot had graced so many gardens with his skills it was often a significant talking point with guests at teatime. These days a genuine spade, identified by a small H.J crest just below the handle, could be expected to raise over £1000 at auction. So check your garages for the famous H.J crest and you too could be in the money.
Part Three… Still rising to fame
In part three you will hear how “The Greatest Show on Earth” was a slogan developed much earlier than first thought and referred to an extra money making idea of Tandadino. Whilst it is now common for companies to exhibit their production techniques at that time it was a rarity and often caused great intrigue.
Actual events again may not match description.
